Chapter 0360
+25 BONUS
I quickly silenced the phone and pressed it tightly against my chest. The room was plunged into darkness. For a moment, the only thing I could hear was the pouriding of my heart.
I held my breath, paying attention to Nicholas. He mumbled something, buried his face in my hair, and tightened his grip around my waist. But when I tried to listen more carefully, he stopped talking.
The phone buzzed twice. It was a message from Beth.
“Mr. Hawk, I’ll schedule an appointment with the therapist after your 4:00 pm, meeting tomorrow. You mentioned that since Mrs. Hawk came back, you wouldn’t need this much medication. But it’s only been two days, and you’ve finished the pills I just sent.”
My mind went blank. How was his medication related to me?
I texted back immediately. “This is Ariana. Ms. Gardner, tell me the truth. Why is Nicholas taking these pills?”
I replayed every detail I knew about Nicholas and his ‘autistic tendencies“, but there wasn’t much. If Claudia hadn’t mentioned it in passing, I might never have known.
Nicholas had always seemed so perfect, nothing like someone who was psychologically unwell. Perhaps I had not been paying attention. I just assumed he had recovered.
Looking back, if psychological issues were so easy to cure, they wouldn’t be called the most difficult problems to solve.
After waiting for a while, Beth didn’t reply. So, I sent another message. “Ms. Gardner, since I already know, there’s no point in hiding it. It’s better for his health if someone else can help take care of him.”
Finally, she responded. “Mrs. Hawk, Mr. Hawk should avoid emotional fluctuations. Ever since your arguments, his mood swings have been severe, even to the point where he couldn’t control himself.
“Once, he even knocked over his favorite cactus in the office. He realized something was wrong and reached out to a psychologist. The doctor said the separation triggered his condition and that it’s been getting worse over the past few months.
“Mrs. Hawk, Mr. Hawk really cares about you and hopes you can reconcile with him.”
“I know. Don’t tell him about this.”
With that, I deleted all the messages and put his phone back. But I felt completely disoriented as if my entire being had scattered.
I had prided myself on loving Nicholas for so many years, yet I knew so little about him..
Nicholas wasn’t naturally gentle and composed. He carefully managed everything, from his smiles to his calm demeanor. He kept them within limits he found acceptable.
His elegance and composure came from sheer willpower. And how many times had I teased him for being too “pretentious” in public?
For the first time, I lowered my head upon seeing Nicholas taking this kind of medication. I realized that the love I once took pride in, believing I owed no one, had left me feeling indebted to him. Even while
1/2
+25 BONUS
Charte 30
loving him, I had never given him the care he needed.
Suddenly, my love could no longer move even me. I realized that from now on, I would never be able to say. “When I was young. I once loved someone with all my heart“. I hadn’t done that.
The cooling patch on Nicholas’s forehead was no longer cold, so I carefully replaced it. Perhaps I was too rough when tearing off the old patch, but he suddenly woke up and opened his eyes.
As if he had forgotten he was sick, he asked me, “Did I have a fever?”
“Yes. Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?”
He breathed heavily, frowning as he exhaled. Without warning, he pulled me onto his chest. His burning lips sealed over mine. His arms locked around my hips, drawing us impossibly close as he kissed me.
In my daze, it all felt surreal. He kissed me desperately as if I were his meditation.